I get asked this question a lot: How can we make our Sunday morning services more intergenerational?
I get why it’s a hot topic. But if you’re at the beginning of your intergenerational journey, I wouldn’t advise starting with your worship services. Many people have tried and been disheartened when they realise how big of a big task it is.
Start small, making changes to other areas of your church life first. As the old saying goes, “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” And a Sunday worship service is one giant bite to start with.
Perhaps you have all-age worship already, and you may have overheard some of these comments before:
An all-age worship service does not guarantee that it is necessarily an intergenerational worship service – often, it's just multi-generational. So what’s the difference between the two?
Multi-generational gatherings are when multiple generations are present, but there is little interaction or engagement between them. You can have multiple generations sitting in the same service, but they may not talk to one another. And some of those generations may decide to opt out of attending church on the Sundays when the kids stay in! It’s hard to keep everyone happy…
Valerie Grissom describes how intergenerational Christian practices are anchored around intentional shared rhythms and patterns that foster relationships with God among all ages.1 It is a congregation’s commitment to criss-cross the borders of age and stages of life, to create a sustainable and resilient community of faith that breathes life into households and neighbourhoods – and to bring hope and healing to the world.2
So why is it so hard to worship with all the generations in one place? In one group, there will be a mix of individual learning styles, spiritual styles, personalities and preferences and we may be at different points in our faith journey. Add in some different ages into the mix, and you get a melting pot of difference.
It’s also a real challenge to hold space for a wide age range. Often we’re not flexible or skilled enough to include those in the margins – the really young, and the much older members – and they may feel like they don’t belong in the space. Are we really willing to lead worship for everyone, or just some?
In such an individualised culture, we need to remind ourselves of Romans 12:10, which says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.”
It’s the theology of accommodation.
It can also be a fool’s choice to think that we are limited to our current realities: either we’re multi-generational, or we separate off into age specific ministries. Are there really only two options? I reckon the church could be more creative…
It may be helpful for us to reflect on our own church experience growing up, which may uncover hidden views of what we expect church to be like today.
I have enjoyed a wide range of churches over the last 30 years, from a traditional Anglican village church growing up, to student churches in central London. A church where you knew the worship was good when someone pulled the tambourine out of their bag and joined in the worship band from the fourth row back. Churches with amazing music, churches with no music. And seasons where there were streams of children growing up around me in the church, and seasons where there have been none.
And there is no one-stop-cookie-cutter worship session that you could possibly plug and play in those differing church contexts.
It's not a component or programme you can slot into your worship run sheet, but there are threads you can weave into your community life together. It affects everything: how we use our space, how we lead and make decisions, the style of worship and the sermons given, the songs we sing, and more.
The spaces we worship in will also shape how we worship. A friend’s church meets in a large outdoor tent. Other churches I know of meet in local schools, church halls, community spaces, cafes, or traditional church buildings. Our churches have flexed their creative adaptability muscles in the way we’ve responded to earthquake strengthening, Covid limitations, and we’ve often had to rethink what makes a “sacred space”.
When I was involved in running a Café Church, our blank canvas space was a barren hall, and we had fun being creative with the space and layout. We tried every kind of seating configuration possible in the space, and have slowly eliminated the 90% of the ones that didn’t work well. We finally settled on smaller tables with five or six people at them. We were thoughtful about who was sitting on each table, and mixed up the generations so there was a mix of of voices in our discussion times.
If we’re hoping that both young people and adults are in our services, perhaps we need to think about how the different generations can help shape and plan our gatherings. Are there opportunities for two or more generations to collaborate on parts of the service together? Maybe this looks like a family unpacking the Bible message together, multiple generations leading prayers of the people together, different ages in the worship band playing together, or kids and grandparents in the welcome team together.
Providing moments to discuss and reflect in a worship service provides a feedback loop so we can hear the stories, testimonies and wonderings. Some of us may like services where we don’t have to talk to anyone, but faith is formed in community, so we try to make space for this to happen in a positive and safe way.
Our sermons at Café Church were are for all ages. They genuinely had to be – have you tried preaching to a group of people when five-year-old twins are crawling under the tables with monster trucks? We took this as a creative challenge, and it's made us up our game.
David Csinos, a Canadian theologian and author, has done some research looking at how children connect with God, and noticed some common ways in which people connect to God. These four spiritual styles include: word, emotion, symbol and action.
He noticed how some children loved connecting to God through reading the Bible and hearing talks (word). Some of the kids he spoke to felt closer to God through music, creative arts and drama, or larger group worship events (emotion). Some kids felt closer to God out in nature, on the beach or in the forest, and were really comfortable symbolism, and with the mystery of God (symbol). And then there were the kids that wanted to make a difference in the world, and lived out their faith through hands-on, practical service and mission (action).
Our kids are likely to have a mix of spiritual styles, as are our adults. So when you think of your last all-in worship service, were there a mix of spiritual styles – word, creative arts, symbolism and action? Or just one or two?
Most of our traditional worship services are word-centric, so we make an extra effort with Café Church to make our services visual, whether its prompts on the table, interactive prayers, visual aids or projected images.
One of the first things that comes to mind when we say the word “worship” is singing songs. Nick and Becky Drake, in their book Worship for Everyone, explain that the songs we sing carry with them a set of values, a culture and a theology.3
At their best, songs can enable everyone to encounter Jesus. But while kids' action songs are fun, they might not be for everyone. Many children’s songs do a better job of teaching kids about God than actually helping them worship God.
See the difference? One is about information, and one is about adoration.
Whatever your song choice, think about why you have chosen the ones that you sing with kids. Is it because they help everyone worship God, or do they just offer information about God? Does every song have to include actions if kids are in the room? The worship team can be a great opportunity to bring on younger members and mentor them through music.
And if you’re interested in finding out more about where to begin your intergenerational journey, I’d recommend watching my free class, Intergenerational Communities.
And rather than trying to keep everyone happy, maybe look for ways to love one another instead.
1Valerie Grissom (2023) All Ages Becoming, Abilene Christian University Press.
2Linda E. Staats in Grissom. (2023) Chapter 2: Circle of Blessing, All Ages Becoming, Abilene Christian University Press.
3Nick and Becky Drake, Worship for Everyone.
Check out other articles in the
series below.
More articles in the
series are to come.
We have invited these writers to share their experiences, ideas and opinions in the hope that these will provoke thought, challenge you to go deeper and inspire you to put your faith into action. These articles should not be taken as the official view of the Nelson Diocese on any particular matter.
I get asked this question a lot: How can we make our Sunday morning services more intergenerational?
I get why it’s a hot topic. But if you’re at the beginning of your intergenerational journey, I wouldn’t advise starting with your worship services. Many people have tried and been disheartened when they realise how big of a big task it is.
Start small, making changes to other areas of your church life first. As the old saying goes, “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” And a Sunday worship service is one giant bite to start with.
Perhaps you have all-age worship already, and you may have overheard some of these comments before:
An all-age worship service does not guarantee that it is necessarily an intergenerational worship service – often, it's just multi-generational. So what’s the difference between the two?
Multi-generational gatherings are when multiple generations are present, but there is little interaction or engagement between them. You can have multiple generations sitting in the same service, but they may not talk to one another. And some of those generations may decide to opt out of attending church on the Sundays when the kids stay in! It’s hard to keep everyone happy…
Valerie Grissom describes how intergenerational Christian practices are anchored around intentional shared rhythms and patterns that foster relationships with God among all ages.1 It is a congregation’s commitment to criss-cross the borders of age and stages of life, to create a sustainable and resilient community of faith that breathes life into households and neighbourhoods – and to bring hope and healing to the world.2
So why is it so hard to worship with all the generations in one place? In one group, there will be a mix of individual learning styles, spiritual styles, personalities and preferences and we may be at different points in our faith journey. Add in some different ages into the mix, and you get a melting pot of difference.
It’s also a real challenge to hold space for a wide age range. Often we’re not flexible or skilled enough to include those in the margins – the really young, and the much older members – and they may feel like they don’t belong in the space. Are we really willing to lead worship for everyone, or just some?
In such an individualised culture, we need to remind ourselves of Romans 12:10, which says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.”
It’s the theology of accommodation.
It can also be a fool’s choice to think that we are limited to our current realities: either we’re multi-generational, or we separate off into age specific ministries. Are there really only two options? I reckon the church could be more creative…
It may be helpful for us to reflect on our own church experience growing up, which may uncover hidden views of what we expect church to be like today.
I have enjoyed a wide range of churches over the last 30 years, from a traditional Anglican village church growing up, to student churches in central London. A church where you knew the worship was good when someone pulled the tambourine out of their bag and joined in the worship band from the fourth row back. Churches with amazing music, churches with no music. And seasons where there were streams of children growing up around me in the church, and seasons where there have been none.
And there is no one-stop-cookie-cutter worship session that you could possibly plug and play in those differing church contexts.
It's not a component or programme you can slot into your worship run sheet, but there are threads you can weave into your community life together. It affects everything: how we use our space, how we lead and make decisions, the style of worship and the sermons given, the songs we sing, and more.
The spaces we worship in will also shape how we worship. A friend’s church meets in a large outdoor tent. Other churches I know of meet in local schools, church halls, community spaces, cafes, or traditional church buildings. Our churches have flexed their creative adaptability muscles in the way we’ve responded to earthquake strengthening, Covid limitations, and we’ve often had to rethink what makes a “sacred space”.
When I was involved in running a Café Church, our blank canvas space was a barren hall, and we had fun being creative with the space and layout. We tried every kind of seating configuration possible in the space, and have slowly eliminated the 90% of the ones that didn’t work well. We finally settled on smaller tables with five or six people at them. We were thoughtful about who was sitting on each table, and mixed up the generations so there was a mix of of voices in our discussion times.
If we’re hoping that both young people and adults are in our services, perhaps we need to think about how the different generations can help shape and plan our gatherings. Are there opportunities for two or more generations to collaborate on parts of the service together? Maybe this looks like a family unpacking the Bible message together, multiple generations leading prayers of the people together, different ages in the worship band playing together, or kids and grandparents in the welcome team together.
Providing moments to discuss and reflect in a worship service provides a feedback loop so we can hear the stories, testimonies and wonderings. Some of us may like services where we don’t have to talk to anyone, but faith is formed in community, so we try to make space for this to happen in a positive and safe way.
Our sermons at Café Church were are for all ages. They genuinely had to be – have you tried preaching to a group of people when five-year-old twins are crawling under the tables with monster trucks? We took this as a creative challenge, and it's made us up our game.
David Csinos, a Canadian theologian and author, has done some research looking at how children connect with God, and noticed some common ways in which people connect to God. These four spiritual styles include: word, emotion, symbol and action.
He noticed how some children loved connecting to God through reading the Bible and hearing talks (word). Some of the kids he spoke to felt closer to God through music, creative arts and drama, or larger group worship events (emotion). Some kids felt closer to God out in nature, on the beach or in the forest, and were really comfortable symbolism, and with the mystery of God (symbol). And then there were the kids that wanted to make a difference in the world, and lived out their faith through hands-on, practical service and mission (action).
Our kids are likely to have a mix of spiritual styles, as are our adults. So when you think of your last all-in worship service, were there a mix of spiritual styles – word, creative arts, symbolism and action? Or just one or two?
Most of our traditional worship services are word-centric, so we make an extra effort with Café Church to make our services visual, whether its prompts on the table, interactive prayers, visual aids or projected images.
One of the first things that comes to mind when we say the word “worship” is singing songs. Nick and Becky Drake, in their book Worship for Everyone, explain that the songs we sing carry with them a set of values, a culture and a theology.3
At their best, songs can enable everyone to encounter Jesus. But while kids' action songs are fun, they might not be for everyone. Many children’s songs do a better job of teaching kids about God than actually helping them worship God.
See the difference? One is about information, and one is about adoration.
Whatever your song choice, think about why you have chosen the ones that you sing with kids. Is it because they help everyone worship God, or do they just offer information about God? Does every song have to include actions if kids are in the room? The worship team can be a great opportunity to bring on younger members and mentor them through music.
And if you’re interested in finding out more about where to begin your intergenerational journey, I’d recommend watching my free class, Intergenerational Communities.
And rather than trying to keep everyone happy, maybe look for ways to love one another instead.
Check out other articles in the
series below.
More articles in the
series are to come.
