Recently I came across a fellow (at close quarters actually, him being my husband) who wandered into a courageous new discipline that is worth sharing – silently retreating to write a psalm or two.
As we chatted, this conversation unfolded.
Evan: A silent retreat is something I’d wanted to do for a while. My mate Mark mentioned that any weekend away from the wife is a silent retreat, but he’s a braver man than I to mention it.
I saw a retreat called Hearts Ablaze in the Spiritual Growth Ministries calendar, exploring the Book of Psalms, and signed up. Psalms has always been a special resting place for me in Scripture, and I’m drawn to their honesty and rawness.
Evan: There were five retreaters, along with our facilitators Colin and Carol Renouf, both experienced spiritual directors. We stayed at Sister Eveleen Retreat House, high on the hills of Scarborough in Christchurch. It’s a 1930s homestead nestled into the bush, with views out to sea, and lots of spaces for quiet prayer and contemplation. One of my favourite spots was the chapel, a sacred space where I sensed real calm and peace. The chapel was shoe free, and I felt I was on holy ground.
It took a bit of getting used to, to be honest, but it was really refreshing. Once I settled in, reception was a lot clearer between God and I, with less distraction. The Sister Eveleen centre keeps a rhythm of prayer at morning, midday and evening, with teaching sessions (obviously not silent!) sprinkled with long periods of silent contemplation and prayer alone.
Evan: We started with a deep dive into one of the most well known psalms, the twenty-third. We broke it down line by line, to grapple with both the structure and the message, putting it into our own words, and bringing it alive. One thing that struck me was that a shepherd of that time, truly did guide his flock. He would be out in front as they wove their way through the steep and craggy valleys, tapping his staff and calling his sheep. The sheep, recognising both the tapping and the individual voice of their shepherd, would listen and follow with complete trust. It’s a gentle and strong relationship, the sheep drawn willingly and eagerly to his voice, rather than a fear-filled push from behind by a snapping sheepdog, forced to obey or be nipped in the fetlock. May I hear the voice of my Good Shepherd and follow with that same trust and confidence, no matter the valleys I encounter.
Evan: The first group of psalms we dug into were those of lament. Lament is defined as a passionate expression of grief or sorrow, a deep weeping, or beating one’s breast in sadness. About a third of the 150 psalms are laments, the key being a gutsy honesty with the Lord, tuning into emotions that fire our souls. It's incredibly liberating, but apparently us men often find it tricky, like learning a new language.
Maybe that’s why many find it helpful to pray the psalms, because they give expression to what’s hidden deep inside us.
Psalms of lament have a rhythm to them that starts with addressing God, then laying out our complaint. They then move into reminding us of God’s past mighty acts, outlining our request and expectation for God to respond, then finish with a vow to praise him, no matter what. I’ve written my own lament:
Turn to me my Lord, hear my plea.
Speak into the dark and secret places of my soul,
those parts that have long bound me.
Lord, bring healing to my emotions and heart, and my unease in life.
Bring new life and freshness to me, to my soul, spirit and inner being.
Give me your boldness and your loving direction.
Yet I say, you have brought me from a dry desert, where there was little hope.
You have always been beside me.
Lord, you have saved me and uplifted me to a high land of green pastures, of family and of friends.
Help me look towards you only and help me to express myself in a godly, truthful manner. Restore my inner being.
Lord, respond quickly to my prayer. Therefore, I will praise and honour your name.
Evan: The remainder of the psalms are songs of praise, where the writer publicly recounts the awesome acts of God! Each praise psalm includes what the Lord has done, who he is, and blesses him with songs of joy, shouts of acclamation, and declarations of praise. These ones summon the hearer to act, compelling them to bless or praise our Lord, not as a solitary experience, but in community with others. When we praise this way it naturally leads to a deep sense of gratitude and thanksgiving – a vital part of our Christian experience.
One special thing I discovered is that Psalm 117 is the middle book of the Bible. It’s a short psalm that proclaims God’s goodness and faithfulness. And the middle three words of that psalm are “his steadfast love”. How wonderful to know that the very central truth of God’s word proclaims both who he is and how he feels about us… His enduring and unending love!
I wrote my own psalm of praise too and it was really uplifting for me. It’s something I want to make more regular and then maybe it will come a bit more naturally.
Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and everything in me.
Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and remember all his benefits.
You have always guided me, always been right beside me leading me all the days of my life, even when I was unaware. You have redeemed me from the pit, and from generations of unbelief. You knew my frame and remembered that I am but dust. Thank you Lord, for Uncle Wally who may have been the only one praying for me.
Selah
You have brought me to new living hope in this life and the life to come. You have given me your love and encouragement to speak to others of your greatness and compassion.
Selah
You have provided freedom and compassion to explore the wonders of your love. All your benefits are undeserved, and you have blotted out the transgressions of my past. Because of this I give you thanks and praise. Our Lord, help me to sing to you with praises and lift your name on all the earth.
Evan: I never really thought I’d write a psalm, not being a man of many words, so it surprised me I could get something down – even if it's imperfect, and not fully following the pattern. It’s not that the words haven’t been there. I’ve had these thoughts internally, but never given myself permission to get them out.
Our emotions are neither good nor bad but are a gift that signals what’s important to us, and ushers in a much deeper and heart level of living. I think there’s also a myth that saved folk shouldn’t have these struggles so we often stash uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, rather than expressing them. But to do that, is to negate our humanity. God is not surprised by who we are, and loves us completely, flaws, struggles and all, and wants us to draw near and abide with him.
For me, writing this very real stuff down and then reading it out helps me process it. When I say things out loud it creeps around the side of my face to my ears, and it is processed differently, more fully somehow.
I want every breath to be, as one writer put it, “an anthem of praise to God, for He is worthy of public proclamation of His greatness” (from The Daily Walk, Vol 19, Number 6, 1996). There are people all around us chasing “spiritual enlightenment” who need to hear that there is a God who loves them to pieces, and whose incredible love is worth singing and shouting about!
Evan: Totally! If you’ve ever wondered about it, book a time and do it!
Check out other articles in the
series below.
More articles in the
series are to come.
We have invited these writers to share their experiences, ideas and opinions in the hope that these will provoke thought, challenge you to go deeper and inspire you to put your faith into action. These articles should not be taken as the official view of the Nelson Diocese on any particular matter.
Recently I came across a fellow (at close quarters actually, him being my husband) who wandered into a courageous new discipline that is worth sharing – silently retreating to write a psalm or two.
As we chatted, this conversation unfolded.
Evan: A silent retreat is something I’d wanted to do for a while. My mate Mark mentioned that any weekend away from the wife is a silent retreat, but he’s a braver man than I to mention it.
I saw a retreat called Hearts Ablaze in the Spiritual Growth Ministries calendar, exploring the Book of Psalms, and signed up. Psalms has always been a special resting place for me in Scripture, and I’m drawn to their honesty and rawness.
Evan: There were five retreaters, along with our facilitators Colin and Carol Renouf, both experienced spiritual directors. We stayed at Sister Eveleen Retreat House, high on the hills of Scarborough in Christchurch. It’s a 1930s homestead nestled into the bush, with views out to sea, and lots of spaces for quiet prayer and contemplation. One of my favourite spots was the chapel, a sacred space where I sensed real calm and peace. The chapel was shoe free, and I felt I was on holy ground.
It took a bit of getting used to, to be honest, but it was really refreshing. Once I settled in, reception was a lot clearer between God and I, with less distraction. The Sister Eveleen centre keeps a rhythm of prayer at morning, midday and evening, with teaching sessions (obviously not silent!) sprinkled with long periods of silent contemplation and prayer alone.
Evan: We started with a deep dive into one of the most well known psalms, the twenty-third. We broke it down line by line, to grapple with both the structure and the message, putting it into our own words, and bringing it alive. One thing that struck me was that a shepherd of that time, truly did guide his flock. He would be out in front as they wove their way through the steep and craggy valleys, tapping his staff and calling his sheep. The sheep, recognising both the tapping and the individual voice of their shepherd, would listen and follow with complete trust. It’s a gentle and strong relationship, the sheep drawn willingly and eagerly to his voice, rather than a fear-filled push from behind by a snapping sheepdog, forced to obey or be nipped in the fetlock. May I hear the voice of my Good Shepherd and follow with that same trust and confidence, no matter the valleys I encounter.
Evan: The first group of psalms we dug into were those of lament. Lament is defined as a passionate expression of grief or sorrow, a deep weeping, or beating one’s breast in sadness. About a third of the 150 psalms are laments, the key being a gutsy honesty with the Lord, tuning into emotions that fire our souls. It's incredibly liberating, but apparently us men often find it tricky, like learning a new language.
Maybe that’s why many find it helpful to pray the psalms, because they give expression to what’s hidden deep inside us.
Psalms of lament have a rhythm to them that starts with addressing God, then laying out our complaint. They then move into reminding us of God’s past mighty acts, outlining our request and expectation for God to respond, then finish with a vow to praise him, no matter what. I’ve written my own lament:
Turn to me my Lord, hear my plea.
Speak into the dark and secret places of my soul,
those parts that have long bound me.
Lord, bring healing to my emotions and heart, and my unease in life.
Bring new life and freshness to me, to my soul, spirit and inner being.
Give me your boldness and your loving direction.
Yet I say, you have brought me from a dry desert, where there was little hope.
You have always been beside me.
Lord, you have saved me and uplifted me to a high land of green pastures, of family and of friends.
Help me look towards you only and help me to express myself in a godly, truthful manner. Restore my inner being.
Lord, respond quickly to my prayer. Therefore, I will praise and honour your name.
Evan: The remainder of the psalms are songs of praise, where the writer publicly recounts the awesome acts of God! Each praise psalm includes what the Lord has done, who he is, and blesses him with songs of joy, shouts of acclamation, and declarations of praise. These ones summon the hearer to act, compelling them to bless or praise our Lord, not as a solitary experience, but in community with others. When we praise this way it naturally leads to a deep sense of gratitude and thanksgiving – a vital part of our Christian experience.
One special thing I discovered is that Psalm 117 is the middle book of the Bible. It’s a short psalm that proclaims God’s goodness and faithfulness. And the middle three words of that psalm are “his steadfast love”. How wonderful to know that the very central truth of God’s word proclaims both who he is and how he feels about us… His enduring and unending love!
I wrote my own psalm of praise too and it was really uplifting for me. It’s something I want to make more regular and then maybe it will come a bit more naturally.
Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and everything in me.
Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and remember all his benefits.
You have always guided me, always been right beside me leading me all the days of my life, even when I was unaware. You have redeemed me from the pit, and from generations of unbelief. You knew my frame and remembered that I am but dust. Thank you Lord, for Uncle Wally who may have been the only one praying for me.
Selah
You have brought me to new living hope in this life and the life to come. You have given me your love and encouragement to speak to others of your greatness and compassion.
Selah
You have provided freedom and compassion to explore the wonders of your love. All your benefits are undeserved, and you have blotted out the transgressions of my past. Because of this I give you thanks and praise. Our Lord, help me to sing to you with praises and lift your name on all the earth.
Evan: I never really thought I’d write a psalm, not being a man of many words, so it surprised me I could get something down – even if it's imperfect, and not fully following the pattern. It’s not that the words haven’t been there. I’ve had these thoughts internally, but never given myself permission to get them out.
Our emotions are neither good nor bad but are a gift that signals what’s important to us, and ushers in a much deeper and heart level of living. I think there’s also a myth that saved folk shouldn’t have these struggles so we often stash uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, rather than expressing them. But to do that, is to negate our humanity. God is not surprised by who we are, and loves us completely, flaws, struggles and all, and wants us to draw near and abide with him.
For me, writing this very real stuff down and then reading it out helps me process it. When I say things out loud it creeps around the side of my face to my ears, and it is processed differently, more fully somehow.
I want every breath to be, as one writer put it, “an anthem of praise to God, for He is worthy of public proclamation of His greatness” (from The Daily Walk, Vol 19, Number 6, 1996). There are people all around us chasing “spiritual enlightenment” who need to hear that there is a God who loves them to pieces, and whose incredible love is worth singing and shouting about!
Evan: Totally! If you’ve ever wondered about it, book a time and do it!
Check out other articles in the
series below.
More articles in the
series are to come.
