I was raised in Nelson in a Christian family, and always believed in God – it was just the way I was brought up. My parents always took me to church and youth group, and when I was about 16, I started to go to church on my own accord, branching out from my parents' faith. And that was fantastic.

Then in my late teens, I was in a church service one day – I don't recall what the pastor said, but I went away thinking, My whole life I've heard about this God, and if he's not real, then what the heck are we doing?

I went away with a sort of frustration, and in my heart, I challenged God: Show me that you're real, because if you're not, I will give up. Because I was tired of sitting in services and hearing preaching but not seeing the reality of God.

It really frustrated me to the point where I genuinely meant it – if he didn't reveal himself to me, I was done with it, because why bother?

For the next while, I was alone in my room, in prayer and worship, crying out to God.

I honestly thought it was going to take months, and I'd reach a point where I'd sacrificed “enough” of myself, and God would respond.

He showed up in two weeks.

It caught me by surprise, but I now see God's like that. He's not playing coy. He's itching to get into our lives.

The only way to explain what I encountered was this indescribable love, and it wasn't just abstract, it was a person. How do you describe the love of your parents? It was like that, but so much more.

When I was asked to reflect on my year at Bishopdale, I thought back to this moment and realised that all of my life had led up to that point. It was like a B.C./A.D. moment. All of my life is lived from that point, that time where I met God.

So that was very profound, and it’s still a foundational point in my life, but not long after that, my life got very low, and I was very lost and very confused.

I married my wonderful wife, and we had four kids, and that was really the joy in my life. But in terms of career and everything else, I was lost and stuck.

It lasted for about 10 years. I didn’t realise there was a term for it at the time, but I was starting to deconstruct my faith.

I’d had this Christian upbringing, and suddenly realised I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't know what to make of that experience I'd had with God. I didn't know what to make with all these years, so I just put all of it aside. I told people I was “putting it on the table over there”.

I was working as a landscaper for five and a half years when this opportunity to study at Bishopdale came up. It was one of those times where I could sense God's movement. God opened this door, and I just went for it.

Bishopdale has helped me to bring these things off the table back into my life. It's helped me to reconstruct my faith. It's helped me to understand life and God in such a far more profound, meaningful, real way.

One of the things I have loved about my time at Bishopdale College – and there are seriously too many to talk about here – is the weaving of theology and theory with the practical application of my internship context. 

As I have grown in my understanding of who God is and what he has done and is doing, it naturally permeates the way I approach the work I do for my internship. 

For example, as we have looked at God's self-revelation through how he has acted in the world, I have started to understand more profoundly that God is far more active than I could ever comprehend. He is the one who is, and will, restore all creation. As this understanding has sunk deeper into my understanding of the world I find that it subtly, but powerfully, changes my approach to my work. Instead of thinking that, as I go about “my” work, hoping it will have a kingdom impact, I now understand that as I go, God is already at work and I am called to participate in what he is doing. And through study and training of Christian leadership, I find myself increasingly equipped to participate better.

Bishopdale exists to bring people to a clearer and more real understanding of God, and that's exactly what it’s done for me.

That's what last year was for me – putting my faith back together.

And now I’m just more excited to be Christian.

I'm proud to claim that I love God, I know God, and I'm a Christian.

That's been my journey. That's been Bishopdale.